Thursday, 17 September 2009

The Grown Up World

As my 21st birthday comes ever closer I start to wonder about the things I've done, should have done or wanted to do. People keep asking me what I am going to do, what would I like, got anything special planned? The only reply I seem to giving is a sigh of anguish. Because really it's just another birthday; why is this one so special? All I want for my birthday this year is a mattress as I have yet to get one for my new house. This is what my life has come to. No fancy gifts but a bog standard mattress. Turning 21 places to much strain on your shoulders and there's a lot of pressure on you to do something fun and exciting. Me and the girlies, all were're doing is having a joint party/housewarming. AND even that's making me feel pained at the thought of our house getting wrecked and loosing our deposit. I'm going to be 21, that's still young, I've got my whole life ahead to worry about things, just live in the now. This is exactly what I try to do but it's hard just going with the flow, letting things happen the way they should. So instead of trying to control things all the time, why not appreciate the small things and let the rest sort its own self out, 'cos really I don't have the time with a full time degree on my hands.
Many say that turning 18 is the beginning of your adult life. You can drink...legally (not that we haven't been doing that for the past 2 or 3 years), your able to drive, you can get married without the consent of your parents, the world is your oyster as they say. Personally, I think that's just a load booha. Unless you've got a job that allows you to move away from home, your still stuck in that place between 'kidadulthood' and 'adulthood'.
I don't regret anything, well almost anything (not that I'm going to expose those things on here), that I've done in my life. I feel every experience and choice made whether good or bad makes you who you are; an individual thats a little damaged and rough around the edges.
It's weird to think that after this year I will be entering into a world I've never quite understood and probably never will. A world that expects me to behave in a certain way that will help and keep the social order in tact. However, I feel very unprepared for such a change. It's true I may have lived away from home for the past two years, payed bills, rent and have had some sort part-time work, but I've still been in an institution that has given me structure, deadlines, a sense of purpose; to get a degree. After graduating (if I do that is) that institution will leave me and I will have to defend for myself. Just like when you leave school having done your GCSE's to begin sixth form and your A levels. But those changes seem like pittance compared to the decisions we're going to have make now.
So, really turning 16, 17, and 18 is nothing compared to turning 21 and officially becoming an adult. To me the only positive of this coming birthday is that now if I want to travel to America, I am legally allowed to drink; the last mile stone if you so wish.

Tuesday, 15 September 2009


So, welcome to my blog. This is my first and only blog. Everyone seems to be doing one, so why not get involved I thought. This blog is where I will document what I feel people should know about me and my happenings in life. I am becoming part of the virtual world and it feels good. Having just set up a twitter account, people can now view and comment on my every move, if they so wish. Just search my name and you'll find me doing something mostly likely boring and uneventful. At the moment I am currently trying to find a job, which is actually very depressing and stressful. I feel extremely down hearted at the prospect of having very little money to get me through the final of university. Alongside these ever growing worries, I have one of the biggest reading lists known to man for my philosophy course. It' quite terrifying knowing that the coming year will be my deciding year to achieve what I need to in order to succeed further in life. Well there it is. My first blog done and dusted. You may not find it interesting but not too bothered by that factor, just as long as you read and take it as you will.

Summer Loving

As summer draws its closing curtain, I feel I should share some moments that have made me aprreciate the smaller things in life. Music, friends and family are just three of the most important things that matter to me, and when they come together puts a smile on my face. Makes me giggle inside and shine with glee. This summer like the previous ones before, me and my mum make our way to a little place called Chelmsford for the annual V Festival experience. Now this year was just too good for words. The crowd were thriving with anticipation, excitement and all shared a universal love and aprreciation for music. One band that stood out amoung many was Pendulm, whose set blew me and mum away, not just metaphorically but literally. Inside the mosh pit that errupted the moment Pendulum came on stage was mind-blowing. The atmosphere was buzzing with electricity and full out mania.
My mum being a hardcore music and Pendulum fan found herself caught up in the crazy yet scary moshing happening right in front of us. As the music pumped away, people unleashed their wild side and mother got caught on the wrong side and was slammed to the ground by a crowd surfer. At this moment, all of us knew that it was time to move further back. Apart from a major ankle sprain my mum remains adamant that, that experience was the best she ever had and would gladly go back. I happen to think she is mental and needs to be controlled.
(if you fancy seeing the mad moshing click here to a video I posted on youtube -